How the distance is worked out
We take the centre of each city and measure the shortest path between them over the surface of the Earth. This is called the great-circle distance, and it's the line a long-haul plane tries to follow. On a flat map it looks curved, because the map is stretched; on a globe it's the straightest line there is.
Roads, railways and real flight paths bend around things, so the journey you actually make will be longer. The flight time is a rough guide for a direct flight: the distance at a typical cruising speed, plus about half an hour for taking off and landing. Winds make a difference too, which is why flying east is often quicker than flying back west.
If your town isn't on the list, choose the nearest big city. The answer will be close enough to plan with.
Making the distance easier to live with
- Turn the number into a plan. "Far" is hard to budget for. "A seven-hour flight" is something you can save towards and book time off for.
- Share the travelling. If one of you always makes the trip, it gets tiring and expensive. Try taking turns, or meet somewhere in the middle.
- Know their clock as well as their city. Distance is one thing; being awake at the same time is another. The time zone planner shows when you overlap.
- Always have a next date. Agree on the next visit before this one ends, then put a countdown on both your phones.
- Send something that travels. A postcard that takes a week to arrive has crossed the same miles you're missing each other across. That's part of why it means something.