Our Tiny Planet
Guide
Open when letters: ideas and how to write them
Open when letters are notes you write in advance for someone to open at a particular moment: when they miss you, when they cannot sleep, when they have had a bad day. Below is a list of open when ideas, a simple way to write each letter, and how to make a set on paper or on a phone.
They are popular with long-distance couples because they let you be there for a moment you will probably miss. They also make a lovely present for a friend moving away, a child starting university, or anyone about to spend time apart from you.
How open when letters work
Each letter goes in its own envelope, and the envelope says when to open it: "Open when you can't sleep." Your partner keeps the set somewhere safe and opens one when that moment comes. Some never get opened, and that is fine. Knowing they are there is part of the comfort.
A set of eight to twelve is plenty to begin with. Fewer letters, written with care, mean more than a stack of thirty rushed ones. You can always send more later.
Open when letter ideas
Choose the ones that fit your partner's life, and change the wording so it sounds like you.
For hard days
- Open when you've had a bad day
- Open when you can't sleep
- Open when you're feeling ill
- Open when you're stressed about work or exams
- Open when you feel like nobody understands
- Open when you're doubting yourself
- Open when we've had an argument
- Open when you're homesick
For missing each other
- Open when you miss me
- Open when you need a hug
- Open when you want to hear my voice (with a voice note or a link to one)
- Open when you can't remember why we do this
- Open when you've just said goodbye at the airport
- Open when it's been too long since we saw each other
For good news and milestones
- Open when you've had good news
- Open when you get the job
- Open on your birthday
- Open on our anniversary
- Open when we've booked the next visit
- Open on your first day somewhere new
- Open when you've finished something you worked hard on
For everyday moments
- Open when it's raining
- Open on a Sunday morning
- Open when you're cooking dinner for one
- Open when you're on a long train or flight
- Open when you need something to read
- Open when it's the first snow
Just for fun
- Open when you need a laugh
- Open when you're bored
- Open when you want to know a secret about me
- Open when you need a song (with a playlist inside)
- Open when you want a date idea
- Open when you've opened all the others
How to write an open when letter
You do not need to be a writer. A good open when letter usually has four parts, and none of them has to be long.
- Meet them in the moment. Start with where they are. "If you're reading this, you've had a rotten day, and I'm sorry I'm not there."
- Say something only you could say. A real memory works better than any general kindness. The night the train broke down. The thing they said that made you laugh in the queue.
- Give them something to do. Make a cup of tea. Put on this song. Go and stand outside for five minutes. A small task helps more than advice.
- End warmly and simply. Tell them when you will next speak, or what you are looking forward to.
One side of paper is enough. Write by hand if you can: your handwriting is part of the gift.
Match the tone to the envelope
A letter for a bad day should comfort, not cheer them up. "Cheer up" can feel like being told off. Say that it is all right to feel rubbish, and that you are on their side. Save the jokes for the "need a laugh" envelope.
Write what will still be true
The letter may be opened months from now. Avoid things that might change, like "see you in three weeks", unless the envelope is for a fixed date. Write about who they are and how you feel, which lasts longer.
Small things to tuck inside
Anything light and flat can go in with the letter:
- A photo of the two of you, or one they have not seen
- A tea bag or a sachet of hot chocolate, for the can't-sleep envelope
- A ticket stub, a pressed flower, a sticker
- A printed code that opens a playlist or a voice note
- A recipe you love, for the cooking-for-one envelope
- A "voucher" for a film night of their choice, or a call at any hour
Making a set on paper
Use plain envelopes and write each prompt clearly on the front. A colour for each group helps: blue for hard days, yellow for good news. Number them on the back if you want them opened in a certain order.
Keep the set together in a box, a ribbon or a folder, so it does not get lost in a drawer. Hand it over at the end of a visit if you can. It softens the goodbye.
If you are posting the set, send it early. International post can take a while, and some countries restrict what can be sent, especially food, plants and seeds. Check before you add anything edible.
Digital open when letters
Paper is lovely, but it is not the only way.
- Scheduled emails. Gmail and Outlook can both schedule an email to send later. This works for fixed dates like a birthday, but not for moments, because you cannot know when a bad day will come.
- A shared folder. Put each letter in its own document with the prompt as the title, and ask your partner to open only the one they need.
- Voice and video. Record a short message for each prompt. Hearing you can mean more than reading you.
- An app made for it. Some couple apps keep letters sealed until your partner chooses to open them.
Digital letters have one big advantage: they cannot be left behind on a plane. Paper ones have another: they can be held.
Mistakes to avoid
- Too many at once. Start with a handful. A set that is too big can feel like homework.
- Only sad envelopes. Balance the hard-day letters with good-news and just-for-fun ones.
- Vague letters. "You're amazing and I love you" is kind, but a real memory is what they will reread.
- Letters as a stand-in for help. If your partner is struggling a lot, a letter is a comfort, not a solution. Add one that says "Open when you need more than a letter", and in it, ask them to call you, a friend or someone who can help.
Open when letters in Our Tiny Planet
Our Tiny Planet is an app for couples, coming soon. You can write open-when letters that wait for your partner until the moment comes. There are also slow letters, which take real time to arrive, flying the distance between your two towns, so a letter you send today might land tomorrow. And for a quick "thinking of you", you can send a heartbeat.
It is not out yet. Leave your email to hear the day it is.
Questions people ask
What are open when letters?
They are letters written in advance, each in an envelope that says when to open it, such as open when you miss me or open when you cannot sleep. The person keeps them and opens each one when that moment comes.
How many open when letters should I write?
Eight to twelve is a good first set. It covers hard days, good news and missing each other without becoming a chore to write. You can always add more later.
What do you write in an open when letter?
Start with the moment they are in, share a real memory or something only you would say, give them a small thing to do such as making a cup of tea or playing a song, and end warmly. One side of paper is enough.
What can I put inside an open when letter?
Anything light and flat: a photo, a tea bag, a ticket stub, a pressed flower, a printed code for a playlist or voice note, a favourite recipe, or a handmade voucher for a film night or a call.
Can you do open when letters digitally?
Yes. You can schedule emails for fixed dates, keep each letter in its own document in a shared folder, record voice or video messages, or use a couple app that keeps letters sealed until your partner opens them.
Are open when letters only for long-distance couples?
No. They are a thoughtful gift for anyone about to spend time apart from you, such as a friend moving abroad, a sibling starting university or a parent working away.
